so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
