My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Even my vagina gasped.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
