ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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