I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize