And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We are two peas in an std pod
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
