shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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