How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize