I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How naked do you want me to be?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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