I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Welp...herpes.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize