i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
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