cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize