i think i have herpe
just one?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
