just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
