ADVERTISEMENT

• (206): View more from Washington

  It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.

  Fav 1 1034 1224

  share tweet
  

• (+34): View more from Spain

  Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

  Fav 16 4578 1016

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.

  Fav 15 2642 884

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.

  Fav 25 11778 1126

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.

  Fav 6 1392 3747

  share tweet
  

• (623): View more from Arizona

  My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.

  Fav 24 4688 2502

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (801): View more from Utah

  Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.

  Fav 9 3396 1056

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  "So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins

  Fav 1 1551 652

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.

  Fav 6 675 883

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.

  Fav 3 776 489

  share tweet
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.

  Fav 0 458 713

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (702): View more from Nevada

  I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.

  Fav 4 796 405

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?

  Fav 2 60 26

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.

  Fav 1 52 15

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (903): View more from Texas

  I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule

  Fav 0 49 5

  share tweet
  

Randomize