i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
