guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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