so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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