R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
