So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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