Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
