I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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