My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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