I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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