So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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