Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
