David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
