i don't like sucking hair
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
