no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
