im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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