Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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