Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
