Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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