I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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