Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
