Say something about gay babies.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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