it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize