her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
...so i touched it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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