I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
