If that was your dad, he is hot
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
