Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
only you would photoshop your dick
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
