I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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