So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Even my vagina gasped.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize