i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
