the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
