I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
