She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
