My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
