No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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