u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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