the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
