I accidentally burped into my bong.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
