She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
