Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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