I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
