She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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