i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
