yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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