her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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