It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
